Thursday, October 27, 2005

The Confession

Let's cut right to the chase, here is my shameful secret: I'm a big fan of Steven Seagal.

There, I've said it! You can laugh, you can sneer, I just love the man. I love how he walks and talks and does everything calmly, deliberately, until pow! in a blink of an eye, he punches you in the larynx! People make fun of him, talk about him with disdain, I don't care. I even agree with most of his critics: his acting is bad, his facial expressions are rather limited, he's not particularly handsome and he does not look like the cerebral type. Not to mention that, with age, he has gotten fat. But in his eyes, I see irony, self-derision and compassion for the people around him who think they are his betters. I have all of his films, I even have a video of one of his teaching sessions when he was an Aikido sensei in Japan.

So, without further ado and in hommage to my idol, I give you: The Steven Seagal Show.
[Arigato, Meimei-san, for the tip.]


THE STEVEN SEAGAL SHOW
Episode 1 – Four O’clock Showdown

Overweight no-talent squares off against a tired old man who just wants to know what time it is. May the best man win!

Watch the cartoon…
Episode 2 – The Way Of The Donkey

Tubby show-off goes ballistic in a fast food eatery. Special guests stars include Paul “Mick ‘Crocodile’ Dundee” Hogan, and that donkey from Shrek.

Watch the cartoon…
Episode 3 – Scattered, Covered, Tortured!

Portly has-been tries to get revenge on the wimpy dork who keeps making fun of him on the internet. Christopher Walken appears briefly for no reason.

Watch the cartoon…
From: http://www.thetoiletonline.com/cartoons

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